Tag Archives: midtown

Lemoni Cafe 1 Comment Read more »

Lemoni Cafe

[post_intro] [/post_intro] I was introduced to this spot by yet another girl I lacked the maturity to commit to. At first I was reminded of a Starbucks until the second time I visited and realized they served pretty banging food. We sat down and talked…

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Bin No. 18 5 Comments Read more »

Bin No. 18

[post_intro] [/post_intro] The first time I came here it was with a closet lesbian. She may not be a full-on lesbian but one could argue the point pretty convincingly. Immediately upon entering, bam, I notice the tables are barrels. That is awesome. It’s like Roadhouse…

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Mai Tardi 2 Comments Read more »

Mai Tardi

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Mai Tardi, Italian for “never too late”, is fitting because once you arrive it’s never too late to get the fuck up and go someplace else. I’m kidding, I like this place, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to use that line.…

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Gigi 7 Comments Read more »

Gigi

[post_intro] [/post_intro] I know why all you assholes give this place rave reviews. It’s because you’re all alcoholics. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about because just about all of you are guilty of this shit. It’s either Denny’s or “that place…

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Cafeina 3 Comments Read more »

Cafeina

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Nestled neatly in a very safe, well-trafficked neighborhood, Cafeina boasts stunning decor and an attractive art gallery for all you mini Monets out there. That’s what I would say if it wasn’t in the middle of the fucking ghettos of Wynwood. This area…

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Buena Vista Bistro 1 Comment Read more »

Buena Vista Bistro

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Tiny places like this is what Miami needs more of instead of gimmicky burger + beer houses. We get it, burgers and beer are a great combination, now tell Burger King to get out of that game because Miller Lite and Whoppers are…

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The One Where I Talk About Art Basel 1 Comment Read more »

The One Where I Talk About Art Basel

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Art Basel is that time of the year where people pretend to give a shit about art because it’s cool for five days. Have you ever looked at a heap of garbage that wasn’t really garbage but a sculpted narrative of consumerism and…

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Lost and Found Saloon 2 Comments Read more »

Lost and Found Saloon

[post_intro] [/post_intro] If Al Swearengen were still alive that would be so awesome. That doesn’t really have anything to do with this review, especially since Swearengen made his domain the northern frontier. A few tips before you venture into what I assumed was an “authentic”…

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Michael's Genuine Food & Drink 2 Comments Read more »

Michael’s Genuine Food & Drink

[post_intro] [/post_intro] When I ate here I inadvertently flirted with a homosexual man. I’m hilarious, this is something I cannot control, and every time I would say something he would perform this combination of a laugh, a giggle, and a snort. I said it was…

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