Tag Archives: miami reviews

El Palacio De Los Jugos 7 Comments Read more »

El Palacio De Los Jugos

[post_intro] [/post_intro] If you’re Cuban and you’ve never been here, guess what, you’re not really Cuban. With the exception of Ño Que Barato and the welfare office, this is one of the spickiest places in Miami. This is not a palace and its highlight is…

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A Frat Bro Reviews Hooters 3 Comments Read more »

A Frat Bro Reviews Hooters

[post_intro] [/post_intro] HAHAHA BRO HOOTERS HAS SO MANY FUCKING TITS IT’S AMAZING. MY BUDDY FRANK THE TANK SAYS IT’S COOL TO GRAB THE CHICKS’ ASSES AS LONG AS YOU TIP THEM WELL SO I ALWAYS SHOW UP WITH A ROLL OF SINGLES. SLINGBLADE WAS BALLS…

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Balans 4 Comments Read more »

Balans

[post_intro] [/post_intro] A world without brunch would be like a world where Justin Bieber has integrity. It just wouldn’t feel right at all. Some of you may be aware of how much I love brunch, but for those of you that aren’t let me give…

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Lemoni Cafe 1 Comment Read more »

Lemoni Cafe

[post_intro] [/post_intro] I was introduced to this spot by yet another girl I lacked the maturity to commit to. At first I was reminded of a Starbucks until the second time I visited and realized they served pretty banging food. We sat down and talked…

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Cerro Negro 4 Comments Read more »

Cerro Negro

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Sweetwater isn’t known for its fine cuisine. Its staple dessert is churros from the back of a truck that hasn’t run since the Bay of Pigs invasion. Even so, you can find some gems in the rough. Those gems are cubic zirconia, but…

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Lincoln Theatre 2 Comments Read more »

Lincoln Theatre

[post_intro] [/post_intro] As a former band nerd and ongoing classical music enthusiast I’m a fan of the Lincoln Theatre. I wonder if in 100 years this place will still be open, and if Run DMC will be considered classical by then. It’d be cool to…

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Bin No. 18 5 Comments Read more »

Bin No. 18

[post_intro] [/post_intro] The first time I came here it was with a closet lesbian. She may not be a full-on lesbian but one could argue the point pretty convincingly. Immediately upon entering, bam, I notice the tables are barrels. That is awesome. It’s like Roadhouse…

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W Hotel South Beach Leave a comment Read more »

W Hotel South Beach

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Calling a place “W” means you don’t give a fuck about Google. That’s gotta be the most un-Googleable™ name on the planet. I’ve never stayed here, but I had a room key. Allow me to explain. Last year my sister and her then-fiancé…

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Grand Central 6 Comments Read more »

Grand Central

[post_intro] [/post_intro] On your way to Grand Central you walk past so many homeless people it feels like this club is situated in the middle of a Darfur refugee camp. There is such a disconnect between seeing those hopeless souls, feeling bad for 8 seconds…

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Segafredo Brickell 4 Comments Read more »

Segafredo Brickell

[post_intro] [/post_intro] This is the place I come to if I’m in the mood to get turned down by women all night. I don’t know, maybe I’m a masochist but I’m about as successful here as Nicholas Cage is good at acting yet I keep…

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