Tag Archives: miami restaurants

Alaska Coffee Roasting Leave a comment Read more »

Alaska Coffee Roasting

Ever since Sarah Palin burst into the global spotlight like that embarrassingly stupid friend you have that you put off introducing to your other circle of friends, I’ve mistrusted Alaska. Nothing good could come from there, or so I thought. I have an aunt who…

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Zielo Leave a comment Read more »

Zielo

Politics, even in the most indirect of ways, tends to shit all over everything. I use Groupon like a poor person, and I treat it like a good way to discover restaurants I normally wouldn’t think of visiting. That’s what happened this time. I found…

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The Oceanaire's Brunch Leave a comment Read more »

The Oceanaire’s Brunch

The most prominent things I learned throughout the various Black History Months I’ve experienced are: Rosa Parks wasn’t cool, because everybody knows all the cool kids sit in the back of the bus; George Washington Carver probably didn’t have a peanut allergy; and, of course,…

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Chinois Chinois & Baklava Factory Leave a comment Read more »

Chinois Chinois & Baklava Factory

No, that’s not the name of the restaurant, I’m just reviewing two restaurants at once. Right, it’s surprising. That’s how I felt last night when I walked in with a Groupon expecting to eat some Chinese food and instead ended up eating kebab. Because it…

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Biscayne Tavern 1 Comment Read more »

Biscayne Tavern

During Miami Spice, places tend to go downhill with quality and service. This anecdote is based purely on fact: the fact that I like to make things up. Even so, I’m usually more lenient during Spice, which is why I’m going to mostly overlook our…

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Daily Melt Leave a comment Read more »

Daily Melt

Grilled cheese is childish peasant food, which is probably why I love it so much. It’s pretty hard to fuck up a slab of melted cheese between two slices of bread, so I’m trying real hard here to think of things to say. “Chasm”, that’s…

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The Filling Station & Garage Bar 1 Comment Read more »

The Filling Station & Garage Bar

If you’ve ever been roadblocked by hordes of bicycling assholes on a Friday night, it’s likely they ended up at the Filling Station to quench their overarching case of smugness. But even though road cyclists and I don’t see eye to eye on everything, and…

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In-N-Out Burger Miami 2 Comments Read more »

In-N-Out Burger Miami

When I first heard about In-N-Out opening in Miami, I quickly navigated over to weather.com and searched for “Hialeah, FL” to see if Hell had frozen over. It was 68 degrees, so for Miami standards it might as well have. I don’t personally know of…

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Machiya Leave a comment Read more »

Machiya

The Shops at Midtown is like Dubai, and everything surrounding it is like the Middle East shithole surrounding Dubai. I’m still shocked at how quickly that place went from muggable to slightly-less-muggable in such a short period of time. A bunch of restaurants have been…

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Quarterman's Ice Cream Parlor Leave a comment Read more »

Quarterman’s Ice Cream Parlor

If I had a kid, I would sit him on top of my shoulders and take him to Quarterman’s for some old-fashioned ice cream. I would also scar the kid psychologically by playing a bunch of practical jokes that’ll leave him forever afraid of benign…

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