Tag Archives: miami nightlife

Wall 4 Comments Read more »

Wall

This has got to be the stupidest place to go to without pre-drinking somewhere else. That’s true of most places in South Beach on account of their “rape is fun” pricing schemes, but Wall takes it to another level. Picture this. It’s 1994 in Rwanda.…

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Buck House (Villa 221) 10 Comments Read more »

Buck House (Villa 221)

Back as a teen when my parents went out of town and left the house to me, I had fantasies of throwing big house parties. Of course, that never materialized because I lived in a condo with strict rules and I only had like 4…

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Blue Martini Brickell 5 Comments Read more »

Blue Martini Brickell

A few years ago, Blue Martini signed a contract with Zoo Miami allowing their excess cougars free reign to hang out. It seems that over the years this agreement has yet to change. Blue Martini consistently looks like a casting call for Desperate Housewives and…

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Arkadia 2 Comments Read more »

Arkadia

I had been to Arkadia for the first time early this year, but it wasn’t for very long and my state of mind was compromised (read: drunk.) When I went again this past weekend, the first thought that came through my mind when I started…

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Grand Central 6 Comments Read more »

Grand Central

[post_intro] [/post_intro] On your way to Grand Central you walk past so many homeless people it feels like this club is situated in the middle of a Darfur refugee camp. There is such a disconnect between seeing those hopeless souls, feeling bad for 8 seconds…

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Mynt 1 Comment Read more »

Mynt

[post_intro] [/post_intro] The key to creating a nightclub is picking a single word, then misspelling it. Mynt, Rokbar, LIV, etc. What is it about that? There are reasons why I usually avoid SoBe clubs. You have to be a very specific type of person to…

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Segafredo Brickell 4 Comments Read more »

Segafredo Brickell

[post_intro] [/post_intro] This is the place I come to if I’m in the mood to get turned down by women all night. I don’t know, maybe I’m a masochist but I’m about as successful here as Nicholas Cage is good at acting yet I keep…

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Baru Urbano Leave a comment Read more »

Baru Urbano

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Sometimes, I just wanna get my spic on. That’s the thought process that goes on right before I come here. I’m all like “Orlando, sometimes I just wanna get my motherfucking spic on,” and then people look at me funny because I say…

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Cafeina 3 Comments Read more »

Cafeina

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Nestled neatly in a very safe, well-trafficked neighborhood, Cafeina boasts stunning decor and an attractive art gallery for all you mini Monets out there. That’s what I would say if it wasn’t in the middle of the fucking ghettos of Wynwood. This area…

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Mia at Biscayne 2 Comments Read more »

Mia at Biscayne

[post_intro] [/post_intro] I’ve been to this place in club mode twice now, and if the Gods are listening I’ll never have to go there again. I’ve never been there during the day so I won’t be talking about that. I’m strictly reviewing the club scene.…

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