Tag Archives: italian

Mario the Baker 7 Comments Read more »

Mario the Baker

One of the most pathetic things I’ve done involves Mario the Baker as an indirect cause, and it just happened earlier this morning. It’s not a very pretty day out there. Last night, as is typical of most Mondays for me, I didn’t feel like…


Villagio Leave a comment Read more »


I think when a place is too pristine I get a little anxious. The Village of Merrick Park during the day is a perfect example of that, and I feel it needs some hoodrats and annoying middle school skateboarders to make me feel at ease.…


Segafredo L'Originale 3 Comments Read more »

Segafredo L’Originale

Short of drilling a hole through the wall at the boy’s locker room to gain viewing access to the girl’s locker room in any ’80s teen movie, Segafredo on Lincoln Road is the best way to score voyeur boners on South Beach. …Segafredo on Lincoln…


Rosinella Downtown Leave a comment Read more »

Rosinella Downtown

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Like a Burger King across the street from a McDonald’s, Rosinella is literally situated next to another Italian restaurant. The other restaurant is Rosa Vito, though I’ve been told it’s more like fast-food Italian. …the dude loves him some Wendy’s. In my continuing…


Puntino Downtown 2 Comments Read more »

Puntino Downtown

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Italian food is one of the greatest things besides my penis a person can put in their mouth. When done right, it’s phenomenal and their penchant for putting sauces on everything pays off well. Puntino doesn’t exactly do it right. Puntino doesn’t exactly…


Perricones Marketplace and Cafe 3 Comments Read more »

Perricones Marketplace and Cafe

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Perricones is a little half-restaurant, half-market, half-bar, half-this-is-shitty-math hidden in Mary Brickell Village. I’m serious, dude, it’s hidden behind bushes, trees, and an annoying little valet parking spot. It’s like the Narnia of Brickell, except the only goat-people around are in the kitchen…


Mai Tardi 2 Comments Read more »

Mai Tardi

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Mai Tardi, Italian for “never too late”, is fitting because once you arrive it’s never too late to get the fuck up and go someplace else. I’m kidding, I like this place, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to use that line.…


La Nonna Leave a comment Read more »

La Nonna

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Don’t assume that the photo I used on this entry is from La Nonna. That’s almost always the case, but not this time. You see, this place is so damn cheap and backwards it lacks a web site. What’s more, there seems to…


Gentleman's Review: Il Gabbiano Leave a comment Read more »

Gentleman’s Review: Il Gabbiano

19th Century Time-traveling Gentleman’s Review: Il Gabbiano [post_intro] [/post_intro] As a gentleman bred of the highest American pedigree, it was of surprise to me the way restauranteurs of the 21st century comported themselves. This establishment, however, redeemed its compatriots in certain attributes. I found it…


Soya e Pomodoro 3 Comments Read more »

Soya e Pomodoro

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Check this out, because it’s novel: An Italian restaurant run by actual Italians. HOLY SHIT. I know, it’s nuts, there’s not a single guy from Jersey working there. …I thought they sold southern Italian stereotypes in bulk. What initially attracted me to this…