A sarcastirical look at, well, everything. Updates every weekday at 10 AM…ish. But let’s be honest, sometimes I don’t feel like it.
Wall 4 Comments Read more »

Wall

This has got to be the stupidest place to go to without pre-drinking somewhere else. That’s true of most places in South Beach on account of their “rape is fun” pricing schemes, but Wall takes it to another level. Picture this. It’s 1994 in Rwanda.…

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Most Sexual Innuendos in a Potato-Themed Rap and Other World Records You Should Beat

Read this one in the New Times.

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El Vato Tequila and Taco Bar 3 Comments Read more »

El Vato Tequila and Taco Bar

If there’s a fast food joint which serves your specialty, your choice of dishes will never be considered high class. Tell me, doubter, have you ever seen a Burger King selling caviar? A Checkers advertising a porterhouse? A Sonic’s claiming to have edible food? Of…

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Le Boudoir 3 Comments Read more »

Le Boudoir

French people these days get a bad rap, more than likely because they’re French. Even so, they’re still the undisputed kitchen champs. Americans call them “cheese-eating surrender monkeys”, but it goes to show you even their disparaging nicknames revolve around their culinary prowess. As you…

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Five Tricks to Play on Halloween

Read this one in the New Times.

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Delicias de España 3 Comments Read more »

Delicias de España

The one time I came here I left with a bad taste in my mouth, and it wasn’t even from the food. I’ve never gone back since and probably never will. Not because the place was bad, but because it’s located in Westchester. Why the…

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8 Steps to Creating an Internet Meme 2 Comments Read more »

8 Steps to Creating an Internet Meme

The Internet is responsible for a lot of hilarity. Some of that hilarity comes in the form of memes. Being a Redditor I’m well-versed in memeitude, however when interacting with people not privy to such bullshit (lucky them) I find myself explaining what a meme is and how they’re made.

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Restaurante Monserrate 4 Comments Read more »

Restaurante Monserrate

Colombians know how to do three things: titties, cocaine, and food. Notice how I didn’t put soccer in there? Yeah, I went there, motherfuckers. The three-thing-rule goes for every country, but Latin American countries mostly have food as one of them so it limits our…

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Fado Irish Pub 6 Comments Read more »

Fado Irish Pub

Someone decided Brickell doesn’t have enough Irish pubs. The proprietors of Fado thought, “Waxy’s, Brickell Irish, Finnegan’s, and the one they’re working on in the Axis building aren’t enough. These people DEMAND shitty bar food and watered-down drinks.” Thank you for that, you goddamn luminaries.…

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User’s Guide to Fake Girlfriends

Read this one in the New Times.

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