Category Archives: Random

No Updates Until Friday Leave a comment Read more »

No Updates Until Friday

Sorry dudes and dudettes, I’ve got a lot going on until then so I won’t be posting anything new until Friday, possibly Monday. In the meantime, I suggest you do some productive things. I’ve compiled a list of stuff you should do to pass the…

Share

Bullshit Facts You Learned in School 1 Comment Read more »

Bullshit Facts You Learned in School

Primary schooling teaches people many useful things, like how to take standardized tests and how gross the female reproductive cycle is. It’s arguably the best place for young humans to learn about social interaction first hand. However, when it came to the actual learning of…

Share

Hipster Rappers You Probably Haven't Heard Of Leave a comment Read more »

Hipster Rappers You Probably Haven’t Heard Of

Hipster rappers are so underground they’re out-hipstering hipsters. The album covers alone are enough to show you these guys mean serious business. Sorry, I mean bidness. Most of these guys have a story similar to DJay, the highly creatively-named protagonist in the movie Hustle &…

Share

Women I Would Sleep with if I Had a Noble Title 2 Comments Read more »

Women I Would Sleep with if I Had a Noble Title

With the non-stop talk of the balding Prince William’s marriage to that hot piece of ass (unexpectedly, because she’s British) Kate Middleton, I figured I’d talk royalty today. It’s 2011, we have satellites in outer space that tell us where the nearest place to eat…

Share

How I Dealt with a Yelp Suspension 3 Comments Read more »

How I Dealt with a Yelp Suspension

Obviously, I didn’t feel like writing for today. This happens all the time, don’t feel bad. It’s not you, it’s me; I don’t want to write for your silly ass. Because of that I decided to search through other stuff I’ve written and pawn it…

Share

Things I Would Do if I Had a Terminal Illness 1 Comment Read more »

Things I Would Do if I Had a Terminal Illness

Being the polarizing driving force behind a blog with controversial critiques and potty humor means I spend a lot of time thinking about being murdered via a poetic stab in the neck with a filleting knife. Getting my ass kicked by a couple of roided…

Share

A Lesson in Food 5 Comments Read more »

A Lesson in Food

Everyone has to eat. Most of us eat organic matter to sustain ourselves while others do well feeding on the souls of forsaken demons from the deepest, darkest, most neglected portions of hell. Yes, Karl Rove likes his demonic delicacies fresh and organic so he…

Share

Japan Earthquake or Why Some People are Fucking Idiots 7 Comments Read more »

Japan Earthquake or Why Some People are Fucking Idiots

Common sense dictates that you spend very little time reading YouTube comments unless your goal is to hate humanity. The same goes for any community sufficiently large, free, and popular. Anonymity offers people free reign to be complete assholes. I know that may seem ironic…

Share

Motherfucking Leap Years Leave a comment Read more »

Motherfucking Leap Years

I was born on a leap day. I realize that by telling you this I’ve opened myself up to you paying my phone bill or logging into my Facebook from a computer I’ve never used in another state, but I think I can live with…

Share

I Should Have a Urine Fetish, But I Don't 2 Comments Read more »

I Should Have a Urine Fetish, But I Don’t

As a kid, I used to love peeing on everything except a toilet almost as much as R. Kelly. I don’t know why. To this day I haven’t been able to uncover the reason for my fascination with glazing everything with my bladder butter. Since…

Share

Page 3 of 712345...Last »