Category Archives: Observations

A Lesson in Making Good Friends 1 Comment Read more »

A Lesson in Making Good Friends

I wanted to start this off like one of those Reader’s Digest columns where an email to an editor is written out, followed by a thoughtful response, but these days I don’t get those kinds of emails. The only emails I get are the ones…

Share

Michael Bay Is One of the Greatest Filmmakers of All Time 7 Comments Read more »

Michael Bay Is One of the Greatest Filmmakers of All Time

No, that’s not one of my typical ridiculous titles designed to elicit a click, I really do think that. I wasn’t always subscribed to that belief, but after thinking about it recently I came to the conclusion that yes, he is in fact one of…

Share

Voting in Downtown: AKA Why Rick Scott Can Suck My Balls 2 Comments Read more »

Voting in Downtown: AKA Why Rick Scott Can Suck My Balls

So last night we reelected Barack Obama. I hope it doesn’t piss you off as a reader to know that I’m happy about that, because if it does then you’ve clearly never read my shit. While I was in line for FOUR-AND-A-HALF FUCKING HOURS yesterday…

Share

It's 2012 and You're Still Using Cash? Motherfucker. 6 Comments Read more »

It’s 2012 and You’re Still Using Cash? Motherfucker.

Let me lay out a scenario you’ve all surely been a part of unless you engage in zero social activities and/or hate people. You’re at a restaurant with a few friends and the bill comes. You all decide, “No problem, let’s just split the bill.”…

Share

Chris Brown is a Complete Fucking Scumbag and I Hope He Gets That New Untreatable Strain of Gonorrhea Going Around 86 Comments Read more »

Chris Brown is a Complete Fucking Scumbag and I Hope He Gets That New Untreatable Strain of Gonorrhea Going Around

I’ve never been a fan of Chris Brown. I feel like he’s beating me every time I hear his shitty music. Earlier this week the people in charge of giving wealthy musicians more things to gloat about decided Chris Brown absolutely needed a Grammy that…

Share

8 Steps to Creating an Internet Meme 2 Comments Read more »

8 Steps to Creating an Internet Meme

The Internet is responsible for a lot of hilarity. Some of that hilarity comes in the form of memes. Being a Redditor I’m well-versed in memeitude, however when interacting with people not privy to such bullshit (lucky them) I find myself explaining what a meme is and how they’re made.

Share

Bullshit Facts You Learned in School 1 Comment Read more »

Bullshit Facts You Learned in School

Primary schooling teaches people many useful things, like how to take standardized tests and how gross the female reproductive cycle is. It’s arguably the best place for young humans to learn about social interaction first hand. However, when it came to the actual learning of…

Share

Hipster Rappers You Probably Haven't Heard Of Leave a comment Read more »

Hipster Rappers You Probably Haven’t Heard Of

Hipster rappers are so underground they’re out-hipstering hipsters. The album covers alone are enough to show you these guys mean serious business. Sorry, I mean bidness. Most of these guys have a story similar to DJay, the highly creatively-named protagonist in the movie Hustle &…

Share

Women I Would Sleep with if I Had a Noble Title 2 Comments Read more »

Women I Would Sleep with if I Had a Noble Title

With the non-stop talk of the balding Prince William’s marriage to that hot piece of ass (unexpectedly, because she’s British) Kate Middleton, I figured I’d talk royalty today. It’s 2011, we have satellites in outer space that tell us where the nearest place to eat…

Share

Passion Nightclub Isn't As Bad As I Thought 4 Comments Read more »

Passion Nightclub Isn’t As Bad As I Thought

Earlier I wrote about Passion and how bad it is. It appears I was wrong. Their owner reached out to me and offered an olive branch.

Share

Page 1 of 212