I’ve been told multiple times that I’m a creative writin’ motherfucker. I had one lady say I was “like a young Hunter S. Thompson if he were an asshole.” Talk about a simultaneous “fuck you” and “thank you”, lady, especially since it makes no goddamn…
So last weekend my sister was visiting LA and my cousin took her to a bar in Long Beach, Mai Tai Bar, where the night ended with six people getting shot. This week I was visiting and wanted no part in that, so I said…
If you’ve ever perused a dating site for, like, curiosity or whatever, you’ll notice that a lot of people list “I like to laugh” as an integral part of their biography. That’s fucking stupid, because everyone likes to laugh. If you like to laugh, then…
This has got to be the stupidest place to go to without pre-drinking somewhere else. That’s true of most places in South Beach on account of their “rape is fun” pricing schemes, but Wall takes it to another level. Picture this. It’s 1994 in Rwanda.…
Back as a teen when my parents went out of town and left the house to me, I had fantasies of throwing big house parties. Of course, that never materialized because I lived in a condo with strict rules and I only had like 4…
Buck 15 has such a ghetto-ass entrance I thought I needed to provide some kind of password to get in. Like the doorman would ask, “how much is a buck fifteen worth to the Loch Ness monster” and the answer is, “…about tree-fitty.” I had…
I had been to Arkadia for the first time early this year, but it wasn’t for very long and my state of mind was compromised (read: drunk.) When I went again this past weekend, the first thought that came through my mind when I started…
[post_intro] [/post_intro] This is like the Doral of midtown lounges; full of Venezuelans. And also other varieties of South Americans. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m just preparing you if you don’t like fake tits and an overuse of the word “pana.” First…
[post_intro] [/post_intro] South Beach hotels, along with brothels and used car dealerships, are places where you know with unequivocal certainty that there are some people being fucked at any given moment in time. …there are some people being fucked at any given moment in time.…
[post_intro] [/post_intro] If you think you can dance salsa but haven’t actually taken any formal classes, I dare you to make a trip to Yuca on a weekend night and make that claim to a sweaty girl in heels and a ridiculous booty. I DARE…
Passion Nightclub“Fuck you then.” That’s what I said to…
A Lesson in Miami DrivingMiami has a notorious reputation for road rage.…
Pictures of Celebrities I Drew By Taping a Marker Onto My ErectionEver since I was a young lad, I…Copyright © 2011 Boy Writes Miami. All rights reserved
