As you read this, I will already be in Mexico. I’m going on vacation while all you suckers are working. When you’re filing paperwork, flipping burgers, performing open-heart surgery, or whatever mundane task it is you do I’ll be in the Yucatan peninsula lying to…
[post_intro] [/post_intro] Don’t assume that the photo I used on this entry is from La Nonna. That’s almost always the case, but not this time. You see, this place is so damn cheap and backwards it lacks a web site. What’s more, there seems to…
[post_intro] [/post_intro] Art Basel is that time of the year where people pretend to give a shit about art because it’s cool for five days. Have you ever looked at a heap of garbage that wasn’t really garbage but a sculpted narrative of consumerism and…
19th Century Time-traveling Gentleman’s Review: Il Gabbiano [post_intro] [/post_intro] As a gentleman bred of the highest American pedigree, it was of surprise to me the way restauranteurs of the 21st century comported themselves. This establishment, however, redeemed its compatriots in certain attributes. I found it…
[post_intro] [/post_intro] I almost gave this place 4 stars because it’s not so awesome. The thing is, unlike my virginity, I want to give my first non 5-star rating to something special. For the record, since I know you’re thinking about it now, the process…
Let me quickly say that I have long ago come to terms with the fact that robots will turn against us and make us their bitches. It’s a common opinion in the scientific community based on our breakthroughs and speedy advances in physics, computer sciences,…
[post_intro] [/post_intro] I live nearby, and recently I went to Transit Lounge alone with the sole intention of specifically meeting a girl I will never want to see again after that night. Transit is pretty good for that, because it’s populated by all types. Let…
[post_intro] [/post_intro] This brand new segment can be interpreted as “reviews of movies that are terrible” or “a terrible review of a movie.” I’ll leave that one up to you. I decided to kick it off by reviewing what has got to be the worst…
[post_intro] [/post_intro] I know what you’re thinking, “but Orlando, you fucking liar, you said you didn’t like strip clubs!” That opinion hasn’t changed, not exactly, but when there’s a bachelor party to be had I’m not about to pass on it based on my opinions.…
Time for me to get serious for a moment. I won’t last long, I promise. Thanksgiving is about being thankful for what you’ve got, but oftentimes we forget about those that don’t have everything we have (hint, the majority of Earthlings) and they remain unaided.…
Passion Nightclub“Fuck you then.” That’s what I said to…
A Lesson in Miami DrivingMiami has a notorious reputation for road rage.…
Pictures of Celebrities I Drew By Taping a Marker Onto My ErectionEver since I was a young lad, I…
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