Author Archives: Orlando

Kendall Ice Arena 2 Comments Read more »

Kendall Ice Arena

[post_intro] [/post_intro] If you wake up one morning thinking, “you know what, I’m in the mood to fall on my ass a couple of times while smelling rubber and feet for a few hours,” then boy do I have the place for you. There are…

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Moustaches 1 Comment Read more »

Moustaches

[post_intro] [/post_intro] It is important to first point out that the title of this is spelled “moustaches” when it should, in fact, be spelled “mustaches.” It’s time to learn to speak AMERICAN, people. Leave your tea and crumpets in the Queen’s territory. We’re all about…

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Poetry Slam About How I'm Feeling Leave a comment Read more »

Poetry Slam About How I’m Feeling

So I’m sick and shit. I’m pretty sure I got this from a co-worker, and not a hot one which makes it even worse. I’ve decided to write some poetry about how I feel in an entry I call “Poetry Slam About How I’m Feeling.”…

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Lazy Entries: Volume 1 Leave a comment Read more »

Lazy Entries: Volume 1

All right. You caught me. I didn’t feel like writing last night because I got caught up in some extra work that needed to be done. I’m also running low on pre-written reviews and didn’t want to waste them. So I’ve created a new segment…

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House of Frost 2 Comments Read more »

House of Frost

[post_intro] [/post_intro] HELLO, DIABETES! That’s how I’m going to greet diabetes when I inevitably get it. I eat more sugar than a fat, pregnant cockroach on Valentine’s Day. That metaphor doesn’t make sense to you? Well fuck you. I eat more sugar than a fat,…

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BWM Mailbag: Volume 1 Leave a comment Read more »

BWM Mailbag: Volume 1

Lots of bloggers and pseudo-writers have entries where they post emails they receive from readers. I’ve decided to do the same. The most notable thing here is the complete lack of hate mail I’ve received. Shockingly, for a guy who compares things to the Holocaust…

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Andiamo! Brick Oven Pizza Leave a comment Read more »

Andiamo! Brick Oven Pizza

[post_intro] [/post_intro] The dude banging my little sister swears by this pizza. I know, I could’ve easily said “my little sister’s boyfriend” to describe him considering they’ve been together for 2 years, but I feel “dude banging my little sister” is a pretty good synonym.…

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Music Which Unfortunately Exists 10 Comments Read more »

Music Which Unfortunately Exists

Once a person reaches a certain age, they start complaining more about the crap the upcoming generation is listening to. In my case, I do a lot of complaining about what my current generation listens to. Because my generation listens to horse shit. Lil’ Wayne,…

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Buena Vista Bistro 2 Comments Read more »

Buena Vista Bistro

[post_intro] [/post_intro] Tiny places like this is what Miami needs more of instead of gimmicky burger + beer houses. We get it, burgers and beer are a great combination, now tell Burger King to get out of that game because Miller Lite and Whoppers are…

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Mia at Biscayne 2 Comments Read more »

Mia at Biscayne

[post_intro] [/post_intro] I’ve been to this place in club mode twice now, and if the Gods are listening I’ll never have to go there again. I’ve never been there during the day so I won’t be talking about that. I’m strictly reviewing the club scene.…

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