[post_intro] [/post_intro] HELLO, DIABETES! That’s how I’m going to greet diabetes when I inevitably get it. I eat more sugar than a fat, pregnant cockroach on Valentine’s Day. That metaphor doesn’t make sense to you? Well fuck you. I eat more sugar than a fat,…
Lots of bloggers and pseudo-writers have entries where they post emails they receive from readers. I’ve decided to do the same. The most notable thing here is the complete lack of hate mail I’ve received. Shockingly, for a guy who compares things to the Holocaust…
[post_intro] [/post_intro] The dude banging my little sister swears by this pizza. I know, I could’ve easily said “my little sister’s boyfriend” to describe him considering they’ve been together for 2 years, but I feel “dude banging my little sister” is a pretty good synonym.…
Once a person reaches a certain age, they start complaining more about the crap the upcoming generation is listening to. In my case, I do a lot of complaining about what my current generation listens to. Because my generation listens to horse shit. Lil’ Wayne,…
[post_intro] [/post_intro] Tiny places like this is what Miami needs more of instead of gimmicky burger + beer houses. We get it, burgers and beer are a great combination, now tell Burger King to get out of that game because Miller Lite and Whoppers are…
[post_intro] [/post_intro] I’ve been to this place in club mode twice now, and if the Gods are listening I’ll never have to go there again. I’ve never been there during the day so I won’t be talking about that. I’m strictly reviewing the club scene.…
Or Muslim. Or any other brand of heathen. Kwanzaa goes without saying, I guess. I had a Jewish girl explain to me last night in detail what Kwanzaa was and its origins. Unfortunately I forgot, but you’ll be happy to know it wasn’t that interesting.…
It’s way easier than you think.
[post_intro] [/post_intro] Breakfast food is great because its core boils down to an amalgamation of enslaved and/or slaughtered farm animals. I would say “PETA, eat your hearts out,” but that’s useless since they can’t because they’re pussy vegans. Denny’s has been slinging [shitty] pancakes since…
Mormons aren’t allowed to view pornography. This sort of prohibition fosters behavior that leads to things like writing a novel about a 100-year-old vampire falling in love with a 17-year-old girl which also has a wolf-man falling in love with the 17-year-old’s newborn baby. Crazy…
Passion Nightclub“Fuck you then.” That’s what I said to…
A Lesson in Miami DrivingMiami has a notorious reputation for road rage.…
Pictures of Celebrities I Drew By Taping a Marker Onto My ErectionEver since I was a young lad, I…
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