Reviewing Miami and then some. Gratuitous vulgarity included.

Le Boudoir

French people these days get a bad rap, more than likely because they’re French. Even so, they’re still the undisputed kitchen champs. Americans call them “cheese-eating surrender monkeys”, but it goes to show you even their disparaging nicknames revolve around their culinary prowess.

As you can imagine by the name and my little preamble, Le Boudoir is a French restaurant. They have French people serving French food. You’ll pretty much only find salads and sandwiches, but no French spot is complete without freedom fries. We call them freedom fries because if it weren’t for the French bailing us the fuck out during the Revolutionary War, A-Rod would be the highest paid cricket player and Harry Potter would’ve been from Wichita, Kansas.

French people these days get a bad rap, more than likely because they’re French.

We’ve gotta stop hating on the French. And what’s all these fucking jokes about surrendering? Did everyone conveniently forget about Napoleon? Maurice de Saxe? Hell, even Joan of Arc. Since 1429 all the way to 1904, the French were 69-24 which in sports terms means they were playing at .742. That shit is playoffs material. It’s not just war we make fun of them for either; we go ahead and mock them for their love of love. There’s this one dude we’ve been using as a lampoon for the French in our cartoons since ’45.

So who is it then?

They called him “the Nice douché”, which highlights the city’s unfortunate name.

Pepe Le Pew doesn’t just represent obscene sexual harassment and a rapey outlook on life, it clearly advocates inter-species erotica. If you guys don’t remember, Pepe is a skunk and his love interest is a cat. She’s not down with the inter-species thing, probably because her parents forbid it or because he smells like shit (hey look, another French diss) so Pepe paints himself to look like a cat. It’s like if I wanted to fuck Beyoncé, so I went blackface and tried to rape her. All the time. That’s pretty messed up.

As you can see, French people ain’t that bad. Oh yeah, Frog is another disparaging term. It comes from their love of eating frog legs. There’s that food thing again. Speaking of food, the food at Le Boudoir is pretty ace. I had never eaten a croque monsieur sandwich before so I gave it a shot. It’s like any typical sandwich except they decide “fuck it, let’s throw a fried egg on there, we’re French, deal with it.” I admire their tenacity. In addition to that, their club sandwich is basketballin’.

I recommend giving it a shot. They also deliver. And surrender exact change. Wait, what?

So where the hell is it?
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3 Comments to Le Boudoir

  1. Not to be a food snob, but a croque monsieur does not have an egg on top. That’s a croque madame.

    • Right, right, you’re correct. That’s the one I had; the lady.

  2. The Intelligent

    Hey, stop hating on Pepe Le Pew. I’m European, and I don’t find him “rapey”. In fact, he is my favourite Looney Tune. Not to mention they completely changed him in the new Looney Tunes Show, and he is no longer like that. Not to mention I have quite a few French friends, and they love him!

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