Back as a teen when my parents went out of town and left the house to me, I had fantasies of throwing big house parties. Of course, that never materialized because I lived in a condo with strict rules and I only had like 4 people who would be willing to show up to a party where Monopoly and musical chairs reigned supreme.
When I first heard of buck house I thought it was a retarded name because it was too unnecessarily similar to Buck 15. Later I found out the place itself is called Villa 221, and on certain Saturday nights Buck 15 throws a party there. I guess they finally wised (wouse? wose?) up and realized they could make more money when your location can fit more than 13 people and a moderately D’ed up midget.
…when your location can fit more than 13 people and a moderately D’ed up midget.
The first time I came was maybe a while ago with my sister and two friends. Going out with my sister will make you a slob. Why? Well, she’s a huge fan of getting 4 AM Taco Bell, and Taco Bell is one of those places you’ll fervently protest against any time of the day except 4 AM after you’ve been drinkin’ lil’ bit. You’d never know it if you looked at her. You would never assume she’s a late-night Taco Bell whore, and she doesn’t easily admit to it sober. To her it’s like telling your mom you’re an atheist.
The second time I went I was already aptly liquored up solely on Bailey’s Irish Cream and Kahlua on the rocks, so my insides were also creating a perfect storm of feces and its accompanying gasses. Needless to say the next morning I discovered my shit gained sentience and wanted to understand human emotion. Buck House happily allows you in without a cover, and there’s plenty of room to act like a stupid asshole. I generally don’t grind on strange women, but that night I did, and I blame the Kahlua. Why the fuck was I drinking Kahlua? What am I, a mom on vacation?
…I discovered my shit gained sentience and wanted to understand human emotion.
In Buck House you’ll find four main sections. Outside, inside by the DJ with ample dancing room, near the main bar/restrooms with couches and bald guys owning electronics stores surrounded by women who are attractive-at-an-angle, and the second story if it happens to be open that particular night. The parking situation is pretty on-point too. Music was generally hip hop and ’80s. Bitches be dancing on top of tables and shit.
I talked about my house party fantasy earlier because this place is just one large house party. The villa itself used to be a house, and now it’s been retrofitted into something else. I guess you can call it a “broken home”, and everyone knows high school or college assholes from a broken home threw the best parties. “My parents don’t love me enough, so we have a keg.” Or, “my dad drinks and beats me, so here’s some of his extra liquor and outside we have mud wrestling.” I’m glad you had affluence and neglect in your life, Chad, you’re so much fun at parties.
I don’t know if Buck 15 still hosts their parties there or if it was a summer thing, but either way the place is worth checking out. And then get some Taco Bell after, no pressure.
People who would enjoy it
People who would not enjoy it
- 221 NE 17th St
- Miami, FL 33132
- (305) 416-5280