Reviewing Miami and then some. Gratuitous vulgarity included.

Mi Rinconcito Mexicano

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In the past I’ve mentioned how Mexican food is usually only good for tearing another hole in your ass in case you’re filming a DP scene and the black guy packs a wee bit too much spongy tissue to get it in there comfortably.

I’m a fan of tiny shitball places in general.

Slowly, however, I’ve come to appreciate good Mexican food that never ran ads with a talking dog or a head-tilting Shaquille O’Neal. That’s right, I brought up, like, a 17-year-old reference, bitches. I’m a fan of tiny shitball places in general. If they have a minimum charge you need to put on your debit card before they accept it, if they accept it at all, I’ll probably end up enjoying it unless they include salmonella free of charge.

Shaq was in a Taco Bell commercial?

Everyone complained it wasn’t realistic because he made like 4 free throws after eating a taco.

I came here for lunch recently and took a quick seat by the counter. I asked the guy to “give me something Mexican” and he met that with a puzzled look. So I reiterated that I’m not big on Mexican food, so to just pick something out himself. Dude went traditional on me and brought out some tacos and flautas. In American talk, he brought out some soft tacos and some taquitos. Maybe it was the crushing hunger from having a tuna sandwich, a tangerine, and 4 beers for dinner the night before along with no breakfast, or maybe it was the spirit of Montezuma stimulating my taste buds, but those were some good-ass tacos. I ordered another round of whatever it was Meximan brought me.

Corona is the urine run-off from tourists in Cancun…

When he asked what I’d like to drink, he immediately mentioned Corona. OK everyone, look, we need to talk. Corona is not beer. Corona is the urine run-off from tourists in Cancun mixed with the sweat and tears left behind by Mexican immigrants crossing the frontier. Obviously it doesn’t taste like that, because urine is a strawberry daiquiri in Heaven compared to what Corona actually tastes like. You know how when you go to a restaurant and ask for water sometimes they’ll bring you water with a little slice of lemon to mask the shitty taste of their municipal water system? That’s the same reason assholes started putting limes in Corona. No, it’s not decorative, Mexicans don’t care about the aesthetics of what they swallow, it’s to mask the pungent stench of beer that tastes like licking an 82-year-old Indian man’s goiter.

So I’m eating the rest of those tacos and I realize I need to pull the unbutton routine. Yeah, I had to unbutton my jeans. There’s a girl I dated that may be reading this laughing, because she does the same thing. CLASSY. It’s weird because she weighs like 12 lbs carrying a 15 lb sack of nickels.

Cheap Mexican food: If you’re a fan, go get some in this corner.

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