Reviewing Miami and then some. Gratuitous vulgarity included.

Andiamo! Brick Oven Pizza

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The dude banging my little sister swears by this pizza. I know, I could’ve easily said “my little sister’s boyfriend” to describe him considering they’ve been together for 2 years, but I feel “dude banging my little sister” is a pretty good synonym.

I always comment on the names of places, possibly because I’m stupid…

I always comment on the names of places, possibly because I’m stupid and don’t get the point that a name doesn’t make a place. This place’s true name, Andiamo! Brick Oven Pizza, seems a little too Japanese-TV-game-show-esque for my tastes. Andiamo translates to “let’s go”, so we’re working with “Let’s Go! Brick Oven Pizza.” I was in NY one time in Little Italy and some dude outside an Italian restaurant just kept saying “mangiare” to people, which means “eat.” Who does that? I guess they’re capitalizing on their mob fame, because only one other nationality can just stand somewhere and demand strangers to do something and have them comply.

What’s the other nationality that can pull that off?

“Eat.” The Russians can still demand James Bond to die. By the way, if you’re not familiar with him that’s the Russian prime minister.

My favorite pizza place is still Spris with Anthony’s a close second. Andiamo is a solid third. It’s not even the pizza that’s putting them behind the other two, to be honest it’s their service. Andiamo’s pizza is great, I’ve had times where I eat the pizza and an angel hooker services me and leaves behind a six-pack of Guinness. But then I’ve gotta deal with the service, which is about as speedy and reliable as a 1968 Hyundai Cortina being driven by an 81-year-old Korea vet with PTSD.

Andiamo’s pizza is great, I’ve had times where I eat the pizza and an angel hooker services me…

I don’t want to say it’s the worst service of all time because I’ve been to Carmax, but it’s generally pretty bad. What’s worse is the servers themselves usually seem nice, so the fact that they’re so shitty at their job feels like they’re just fucking with you. It’s possible that I’ve just been unlucky with the waiters I get. All 8 times.

Andiamo is in Little Haiti, but it’s in the little nook of affluence where you’ll find a couple of other nice restaurants and plenty of white people to assuage your passively-racist heart. Yeah, I’m talking about you, person who lowers the volume of their voice when saying “black people” and/or looks both ways as if they’re about to cross an 8-lane highway before they point out that “African Americans are good basketball players.” Come on people, that behavior is more racist than calling a black guy “boy.”

They serve Guinness which is relevant to my interests. Pairing that bad boy up with one of their simple cheese pizzas can make anyone’s day and is enough to overlook the shoddy service. If you haven’t tried Andiamo, you’re missing out. Give it a try.

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