"Stop Being a F***ing Idiot", on sale now. Kindle and paperback. A sarcastirical look at, well, everything. Updates every weekday at 10 AM…ish. But let’s be honest, sometimes I don’t feel like it.
And now, a new article! Leave a comment Read more »

And now, a new article!

Finally, a new article! I want to take the time to write about something important to me, and I hope you enjoy it. If not, go fuck yourself, I don’t care.


Alaska Coffee Roasting Leave a comment Read more »

Alaska Coffee Roasting

Ever since Sarah Palin burst into the global spotlight like that embarrassingly stupid friend you have that you put off introducing to your other circle of friends, I’ve mistrusted Alaska. Nothing good could come from there, or so I thought. I have an aunt who…


Ms. Cheezious Restaurant Leave a comment Read more »

Ms. Cheezious Restaurant

There’s something very American about a restaurant owing its beginnings to a food truck. No, not because of the “can-do” attitude that comes with starting from the bottom, pulling yourself up from your bootstraps, and working your way up to success. No. It’s because a…


Green Plate Asian Bistro 1 Comment Read more »

Green Plate Asian Bistro

I can unequivocally state that this place is, in fact, the best thing Doral has to offer. The second best thing is the awful traffic, and the third best is that it’s still technically in America. Doral has a lot going for it. I haven’t…


Rent & Roll (Madrid) Leave a comment Read more »

Rent & Roll (Madrid)

My girlfriend and I casually decided to visit Spain one day, because we have credit cards and a high threshold for financial anguish. Madrid would take up the first leg in our trip, and when looking for things to do, Parque del Retiro was up…


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“I Wanna Marry Harry” is so terrible, people don’t even make fun of it.

When looking for quality television, scoping out the reality genre is like asking 2 Chainz to double check the grammar in your research paper. You should already know that reality TV is stupid as fuck just by the name. Why? Well, pick one of two…


Zielo Leave a comment Read more »


Politics, even in the most indirect of ways, tends to shit all over everything. I use Groupon like a poor person, and I treat it like a good way to discover restaurants I normally wouldn’t think of visiting. That’s what happened this time. I found…


Hollywood Chillbar 1 Comment Read more »

Hollywood Chillbar

Chillbar is weird, and we’ll get to why in a second, but first let me tell you that the food is awesome and I’ll be going back. It’s kinda like how you’ll watch a trashy reality show and think, “this is strange”, but you keep…


The Leave a comment Read more »

The “What Kind of Buzzfeed Quiz Taker Are You?” Quiz

If you’ve ever wanted to know what actor would play you in the worst movie of all time, whether you’re Cotton-Eyed Joe, or if you should eat a fucking snack, Buzzfeed has you covered! Buzzfeed quizzes are all the rage these days! Find out what…


The Oceanaire's Brunch 2 Comments Read more »

The Oceanaire’s Brunch

The most prominent things I learned throughout the various Black History Months I’ve experienced are: Rosa Parks wasn’t cool, because everybody knows all the cool kids sit in the back of the bus; George Washington Carver probably didn’t have a peanut allergy; and, of course,…


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