If you’ve ever been roadblocked by hordes of bicycling assholes on a Friday night, it’s likely they ended up at the Filling Station to quench their overarching case of smugness. But even though road cyclists and I don’t see eye to eye on everything, and…
Dying to read my book, but can’t stop thinking, “I don’t want to give this motherfucker any money”? Well, stop thinking, and start taking my hard work for free! My book is available TODAY ONLY for free on Kindle. You have no excuse to not…
When I first heard about In-N-Out opening in Miami, I quickly navigated over to weather.com and searched for “Hialeah, FL” to see if Hell had frozen over. It was 68 degrees, so for Miami standards it might as well have. I don’t personally know of…
Quick question: What’s the most amount of money you’ve ever spent on popsicles? OH, THAT’S CUTE, I JUST SPENT $30. I thought that last sentence would have more “oomph”, but even though $30 for popsicles is a lot, when you look at “I just spent…
I’ll get back to it soon, I’ve just been a little busy lately. I’ll get something out this week. To keep you entertained until then, here is a GIF of a cat who may or may not ever make it to the top.
The Shops at Midtown is like Dubai, and everything surrounding it is like the Middle East shithole surrounding Dubai. I’m still shocked at how quickly that place went from muggable to slightly-less-muggable in such a short period of time. A bunch of restaurants have been…
If I had a kid, I would sit him on top of my shoulders and take him to Quarterman’s for some old-fashioned ice cream. I would also scar the kid psychologically by playing a bunch of practical jokes that’ll leave him forever afraid of benign…
I propose they rename this place to “BuffalOK, I Guess, Wings” because they’re not that fucking good. They have a lot of variety, sure, but there’s like fourteen different types of herpes and none of them are good either, so whatever. You want proof that…
Buffets are the most goddamn American things since electric guitars and indigenous genocide. Sure, it’s a french word, but so is entrepreneur, as in, “Look at that entrepreneur.” And so is découpage, as in, “What the fuck is découpage?” I hear this place is like…
As Sam stood over his late father’s home-office desk, his father’s last words echoed through his mind. “My laptop… protected folder… ‘To Sam’… password… ‘145t14uGH’.” While Sam booted up his father’s computer, he recalled all the good times he and his father had. All the…
Passion Nightclub“Fuck you then.” That’s what I said to…
A Lesson in Miami DrivingMiami has a notorious reputation for road rage.…
Pictures of Celebrities I Drew By Taping a Marker Onto My ErectionEver since I was a young lad, I…
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